
<img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-31-state-of-the-offspring-address-october-2017/24206531248_a3778f4e44_t.jpg" alt="Great Apes" class="post-thumb"/>Don't get your hopes up, long-time readers. I don't think I'm going to find the time to write these monthly posts again, but I had some recent parenting and offspring anecdotes that I wanted to record for posterity.

They are eight and four now.

### Under the Boardwalk

Since receiving an Amazon Dot – smuggled into the country, as they are not for sale on Amazon.es – for my birthday, I have found the "Oldies" radio station to be the least offensive background music to play while playing or eating with my kids. Plus, it respects my age and never plays anything from after I was born. Post-Beatles Lennon is about as modern as it gets. The other day, the song _Under the Boardwalk_ came on, and Nora asked me what the titular refrain meant. I explained that, by the beach, we use planked surfaces to let water drain, and sometimes people like to go into the hidden space underneath it with their special someone. She nodded, and said, "Do you know who I love most in the whole world?" Well aware of my position under Mommy in her totem, and weary of any potential third grade romantic sprouts, I shrugged. Then she surprised me with "_ME!!!_" Well done, Nora. You _are_ the most important person to you, and never forget it!

### Morning Check-Up

<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-31-state-of-the-offspring-address-october-2017/37349406314_ecee5f7996_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Morning Check-Up">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-31-state-of-the-offspring-address-october-2017/37349406314_8e3ab627b9.jpg" alt="Morning Check-Up"/>
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You know you're getting old when your doctor is younger than you.

### Por Favor

Due to screwy new education legislation in Cantabria, the kids are off school this week, which means that they wake up even earlier than the time I cannot drag them out of bed on a school day. Full of willpower after a ten-hour sleep, I decided that I was going to try to make it through the whole rainy day without turning on the television. The kids went through the Kübler-Ross stages of grief in the morning as I devised homework for them. I typed up six sentences in Spanish and assigned Nora to translate them into English and write them down. Her current weakest academic link is English spelling. Meanwhile, Ian and I sat down to sound out all the words and read them. It was a surprisingly successful exercise.

Later in the morning, Nora had to go to Taekwondo class, and Ian was fully into no-tv acceptance. He politely requested a piece of scrap paper, emphasizing that it should not be a document _of any importance_. We have a stash of these that his mother brings home from work. He then requested that I draw a star on the paper and give him some scissors to cut out the star. When I checked back on him a few minutes later, I was impressed by, and complimented him on, his algorithm of cutting the whole star out into more or less a circle, with each point on an edge, leaving only triangles to cut out of the circle to achieve the final star shape. He eventually made about three stars, not really with any end goal in mind, but mainly to enjoy the cutting journey. I helped him cut the last one a little closer to the lines.

He then moved on to another activity, and I asked him to please pick up all the scraps of paper and take them to the trash. He agreed. When I checked on him again (I was preparing lunch in the kitchen), I noticed a final scrap of paper and asked him to pick that one up as well. He said, "No, that's the one YOU cut. YOU pick it up." I said, please, could he do it as a favor to me. He refused, stating that it wasn't fair that he have to pick it up.

I elected to use my favorite parenting motivational strategy of simply refusing any of his requests until he complied with mine. Kids are so needy; it doesn't take long for them to ask for something. Sure enough, he wanted help getting out some other toy, and told him I'd be happy to help him once he'd picked up the paper. It didn't take long for things to spiral into a full blown door-slamming tantrum about how unjust this cruel existence is, including one adorable threat to go live forever at his friend's house.

When things calmed down, I sat down with him and we discussed his feelings and my feelings. The lesson to be learned came down to two major takeaways:

1. Living together with other people is hard, and oftentimes it requires that we pick up after each other, even if the person doing the cleaning is not the one that made the mess. Sometimes I do favors for him, and sometimes he does favors for me. And, especially if you love each other, you should _want_ to do favors for the other person. However, it's important not to count favors: tallying favors is the quickest way to destroy a relationship.
2. The parent-child relationship can _never_ be equal. A child can never repay being provided a loving, safe, home with a warm dry bed and hot nutritious food. Even if we were counting times we picked up after each other – _which we shouldn't!_ see #1 – we could never get to equal. Comparing what's fair and just between schoolyard friends, or even siblings, can be done, but the math doesn't work out between parents and children.

I haven't thought that last one through, as I was making it up as I went along, so don't hold me to it. He listened to it all, and nodded and sniffled and seemed to understand. Then I made a joke about bottoms and we both cracked up.

He took the paper to the trash.

### Little Brothers

Nora continues to be positively _saintly_ in her level of patience with her brother.

![](https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-31-state-of-the-offspring-address-october-2017/37349345124_daf0d3060a_o.gif)

### The Litter Lie

This past weekend we went for a family walk up a local hill. Ian had a little pack of candy that he was eating for most of the walk. On our way back down the hill he made a rather grand gesture of throwing the wrapper into the air and onto the ground. Both parents, in unison but in different languages, told him to pick it up and we'd find a trash can to put it in. He grumbled but complied. I held his hand, and he had the wrapper in the other, as we continued down the hill. About a hundred meters later we came upon a dumpster. In Spain, the dumpsters have a little pedal you can step on that opens the lid so you can throw in your trash bag. Ian's not heavy enough to accomplish this, so I stepped on the pedal for him. He reached up and threw in the wrapper, right in front of my eyes. Except...

There was no wrapper.

I said, "You didn't throw anything in." It took about a second for all of us to understand what had happened, and then another second for Ian to realize he'd been caught. He crumbled into anger and shame. I'm hoping it was mostly the latter. We marched, sobbing, back up the hill about 80 meters to where he'd discarded it, and back to the dumpster to throw it away.

They say it's a sign of intelligence when your kids try to deceive you. What impressed me most was his understanding of the lie. The reason lying is harder than telling the truth is that you have to maintain separate knowledge of what is _actually_ true, versus the mental model of the truth in the mind of the person being deceived. He knew full well that we _thought_ he still had the wrapper in his hand, so he had to go through the pantomime gesture of throwing it into the dumpster.

### Great Apes

<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-31-state-of-the-offspring-address-october-2017/24206531248_a017414e11_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Great Apes">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-31-state-of-the-offspring-address-october-2017/24206531248_a3778f4e44.jpg" alt="Great Apes"/>
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No one told her to reach around and hug him for the photo.

### Consent

The other day, Ian was asking me to please play _Crossy Road_ in two-player mode on the Apple TV. For that we needed another iOS device. I went for the kids' (really Nora's) iPad, but it was at 0% battery. Ian said, "And your phone doesn't have _Crossy Road_..." I chose not to correct his mistaken assumption so as to avoid it getting placed on the list of potential devices in the future. In the kitchen, adjacent to the charging station but not plugged in, we saw Nora's iPhone (an old sim-less iPhone 5) and I went to pick it up. Ian stopped me.

> "Daddy, you can't use Nora's iPhone without asking her."

Wow! I mean, that's still not _technically_ true for reasons of "Because I'm the Daddy", but very soon, once she matures into having actual private social interactions with her device, I will respect her property and privacy. But I'm still very impressed that he both understands the social norm _and_ is willing to enforce it in others. Bravo, my son!

We did ask for permission, which she granted, but it was also at 0% battery, so we played something else.

### Halloween

<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-31-state-of-the-offspring-address-october-2017/37349462734_0225f4b672_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Halloween 2017">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-31-state-of-the-offspring-address-october-2017/37349462734_a586799e6e.jpg" alt="Halloween 2017"/>
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<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-31-state-of-the-offspring-address-october-2017/38027962182_674a653f28_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Halloween 2017">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-31-state-of-the-offspring-address-october-2017/38027962182_138a4de48e.jpg" alt="Halloween 2017"/>
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Happy Halloween, everybody!


State of the Offspring Address - October 2017


<img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37808118521_377fc998c6_t.jpg" alt="Mina" class="post-thumb"/>Last Friday was my tenth wedding anniversary, so I invited my lovely wife out to [Mina](http://www.restaurantemina.es), a restaurant in Bilbao with [one Michelin star](https://www.viamichelin.com/web/Restaurant/Bilbao-48003-Mina-226975-41102) that we have been wanting to visit for some time. I had the idea only a week before, so they didn't have any tables available, but they did have a spot for us "at the bar with a view of the kitchen". I thought this meant there would be a bar, then a bartender, then some glass, and then the chefs behind the glass, but I was very wrong. They were preparing the food right in front of us.  Finding the place was quite difficult. The Nervión River snakes through the center of Bilbao, and Mina is right on the river, but it's at the far end of the tourist-friendly section of Bilbao. Google Maps took us through some pretty sketchy neighborhoods that are near the restaurant. It took us 50 minutes to get there, and another 30 minutes to park. The restaurant called us when we were 15 minutes late to make sure they should save our table. We promised that we were trying to park. By the time we actually got parked, we were bickering like a married couple of at least a decade.

No one would ever just wander in to the restaurant. We tried the door, found it to be locked, and walked around the building to find an unlocked door before we pulled a little harder on the door, made our way up some steps, unsure if there was actually a restaurant there or not, but at the top of the stairs we were greeted by a soft-spoken smiling woman who we would later learn was one of the two cofounders of the restaurant. We took our seat at the bar and were ignored for a few minutes. Eventually a man, who I assume was the sommelier, presented us with an aperitif menu, all around 10€/glass. We declined.

The options available to us were a tasting menu of either 7, 10, or 14 items. We debated, weighing the pros and cons of experiencing _more_ flavors at the expense of potential discomfort of being too full and not enjoying the final items because of that, plus the additional money. In the end we chose the 10-course option and were glad that we did.

<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/23955161748_de2b649526_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Mina">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/23955161748_c0fb9333d9_z.jpg" alt="Mina"/>
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They had an interesting way of separating the items...using indentation. The 10-course menu was just the indented items, and the 14-course menu was everything. So, let us begin...

<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37137682963_abdf8d7e5c_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Mina">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37137682963_9dbb13f89c.jpg" alt="Mina"/>
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We were presented with this curious ceramic object with the restaurant's M logo. We could _not_ figure out what it was for. Thankfully, none of my Facebook friends could either when I presented them with the conundrum.

The wine menu was _immense_, with prices ranging from 37€ to 450€. We chose the 38€ bottle with the coolest name.

<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37549782320_42642bf76a_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Mina">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37549782320_d2b7a33002_z.jpg" alt="Mina"/>
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_La Danza del Viento - Molino Quemado_ (The Dance of the Wind - Burnt Windmill) Despite the dark name, the wine was not as dark red as we normally drink, but was excellent. Between us and the waiters, we made it last perfectly to the last course.

<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/23955160798_facef7ab86_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Mina">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/23955160798_50c292324c_z.jpg" alt="Mina"/>
</a>

The answer to our previous conundrum. The sommelier carefully placed the cork on the cork holder with the logo facing us. Rich people are weird, huh?

<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37808118521_b380e56b8d_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Mina">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37808118521_377fc998c6.jpg" alt="Mina"/>
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**Weakfish served with "arbequina" olive emulsion.**

The soft spoken waiters gave us a much better description of every course, but I could barely hear them and certainly could not remember what they said. The weakfish was good, but the presentation was amazing. I think this might have been the prettiest dish. Try and count all those ingredients! We had been watching them make these right in front of us for the fifteen minutes from when we sat down to when they served it to us.

<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37549781670_7871d85b56_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Mina">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37549781670_e65ec8f0e2_z.jpg" alt="Mina"/>
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Preparing the next dish.

<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37098084544_de5cca8761_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Mina">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37098084544_e9e43bb490.jpg" alt="Mina"/>
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It was interesting to see how, when a mistake was made by a junior chef, like dropping a spoon onto the plate so that the sauce splashed all around the plate, the senior chef fixed it by getting a new plate, pouring a new sauce puddle, and then carefully lifting the fish out of the first disturbed puddle into the new one.

<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/23955159358_13391d4237_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Mina">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/23955159358_895c6068bd_z.jpg" alt="Mina"/>
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**Black Cheese, mushroom and crunchy chicken.** The Spanish title for this was _Queso Marino_, "Marine Cheese". The waiter assured us that, despite it having a very cheese-like mouthfeel, it was made with squid and squid ink.

This was our favorite dish of the night. It was amazing!

In my albeit limited experience little ovoid shapes are a staple of Michelin-level dining. Chefs love to make strange savory ice creams. So it was fun getting to watch the chef making them before us. As everyone knows, you can scoop ice cream better if you wet your spoon, but I was _not_ aware of the trick of rubbing the scoop on your hand to make the ice cream slide off cleaner.

<iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/klEEUxzrYc8?ecver=2" width="640" height="360" frameborder="0" style="position:absolute;width:100%;height:100%;left:0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

But we weren't to the dessert courses yet...

<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37759786566_697d079ce4_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Mina">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37759786566_efd6c8ddbe.jpg" alt="Mina"/>
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**Roasted Scallop served with a vegetal broth**. This was good, but not _great_. The broth was quite overpowering.

<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/23955158908_23bd5daa1c_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Mina">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/23955158908_c2cd807fe4.jpg" alt="Mina"/>
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Mid dinner selfie.

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  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37098084824_1fd07a7aa7.jpg" alt="Mina"/>
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**Begihaundi as mode as risotto**. It was explained to us that _begihaundi_ is a Basque word for squid, and, in typical fine dining tomfoolery, even though they used the word risotto, there was no rice in the dish, and even what looked like grated cheese on top was really wasabi. I really enjoyed this one, but my wife, who is not a big horseradish fan, didn't finish hers (I did).

<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/23955160188_f195fb0ee5_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Mina">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/23955160188_9a844e1ee2.jpg" alt="Mina"/>
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**Bonito from the Bay of Biscay in its own broth**. Bonito is a Spanish word for tuna. I was surprised to see the term "Bay of Biscay", on both the Spanish and English menus. That is how all the American maps label the body of water I live near, but none of the locals ever call it that. Maybe they use that term more in Vizcaya, the Basque region we were in that provides the name.

<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37549781880_8d132c9758_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Mina">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37549781880_e8b6e59f3a.jpg" alt="Mina"/>
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**Pickled wild rabbit, seasonal mushrooms and spices**. This was the only non-seafood dish, which surprised us. It was very autumnal.

<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37549783030_a771a9092f_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Mina">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37549783030_cfc1dcaa98.jpg" alt="Mina"/>
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**Tamarind, Perrins and toffee**. The ice cream we had seen being prepared was toffee flavored. The little cracker on top was really bizarre. Towards the end of the meal, I got up the courage to speak to the chef who was working in front of us. He opened right up and was much more charismatic than the stuffy/formal waitstaff and owner. I asked him about the cracker, because it sort of dissolved on my tongue with a flavor I could not place. He described how they made it. It was egg whites mixed with Perrins and then dehydrated until it was crispy. I had to ask what Perrins was, and he showed me.

<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37759786056_0bb6e4bd79_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Mina">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37759786056_bd3f9cc86f_z.jpg" alt="Mina"/>
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Oh!!! That's the savory flavor! Worcestershire sauce!

<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37808118411_e99c4679fd_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Mina">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37808118411_a12350c4ed.jpg" alt="Mina"/>
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More ice cream with a crisp laminate on top made with black olives and Earl Grey tea. It was pretty good.

<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37776210782_cca3a24f48_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Mina">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37776210782_9eb0523c79_z.jpg" alt="Mina"/>
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Various biscuits with our coffee.

We paid and thanked them for the lovely experience, and walked back out to the street. It was about midnight, our bellies were full, and the river was calm.

<a href="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37549783000_f213f1deb5_o_d.jpg" target="_blank" class="flickr-image" title="Mina">
  <img src="https://d1js6qm6cshi0v.cloudfront.net/oldblog/2017-10-20-mina-fine-dining-in-bilbao/37549783000_f74bbd682b_z.jpg" alt="Mina"/>
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2 posts from October, 2017