American in Spain

Buckler Candle Safety

February 1, 2008
Candle Safety Instructions

Welcome to another installment of "Erik can't think of what to blog about so he's photographing items on his desk, many of which he's not sure how they got there, but they sort of 'belong' now". In researching for this entry, I found this hilarious Wikipedia page about Buckler Beer. Buckler is a "non-alcoholic" beer that I've never seen outside of Spain, but apparently it's sold in other European countries as well. Frankly, I've never had the stuff because I prefer my lager como diós manda. The two golden anecdotes, all well referenced and apparently true, from the Wikipedia page are:

  1. The Buckler brand had to be withdrawn from the Dutch market after a cabaret singer made snide remarks about it during a show in 1989. That's insanity. That's like the equivalent of Chris Rock making fun of Cherry 7-Up and then everyone not buying it anymore. Are the Dutch really that impressionable?
  2. In July 2007, my beloved, but alcoholic, president was seen drinking the not-completely-alcohol-free Buckler beer at A SUMMIT OF WORLD LEADERS shortly before the infamous "Merkel Massage". Is there nothing that man does that doesn't warrant a forehead slap and a "What were you thinking?"

Anyway, back to the candle.

Buckler Candle Tin

Silvery cylinder. It's full of fragrant blue wax.

Tin Bottom

Ooh! Instructions on candle safety on the bottom! Ojo! Una vela encendida puede ser un peligro.

Candle Safety Instructions

Let's work these from left-to-right, top-to-bottom. Or click the image to see notes on Flickr, if you prefer.

  1. I got this one. If you're not there, the candle shouldn't be there either. In other words, keep the candle with you at all times.
  2. No idea here. Is that a little R2D2 robot that the sun is bending the candle towards? Any ideas?
  3. Easy. Avoid trapezoidal candles.
  4. Hmm... Don't turn the pages of your book near the candle?
  5. Okay. If you've got curtains on your window, don't leave your candle in the part of the window where there aren't curtains.
  6. Easy. 10 centimeters between candles for maximum romantic atmosphere.
  7. Oh, I know. That's one of those little snuffer things that no one ever uses.

So there you have it, folks. I've managed to make fun of the entire nation of Holland, President Bush, and candle quality control agent A-78811577 all in one post.